Delta Force, Assemble!
by Xcalated
Summary: Touma likes to hang out with his bros sometimes. Witness what kind of shenanigans they get themselves into, the sort of interesting topics they discuss, and see the very true nature of their friendships. A series of stories centered around Touma's adventures with his guy friends. Pretty much a bunch of fun stories and parodies.
1. Meta Harem Discussions

**Alright, so I got inspired to making this fanfiction because of everyone's love for the omake at the end of my other story "Of Cute Little Sisters". These are pretty fun and easy to make for me so I thought "might as well make a fanfiction dedicated towards them."  
**

 **This chapter is going to be a continuation of that omake so check out the bottom of the other story(or read the whole thing) if you want to see the previous one.**

 **Dear god, why do I have 4 active stories up. I guess it's a good thing these things are going to be much shorter.  
**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Toaru Majutsu no Index**

* * *

"I have so much more to learn."

"You'll soon get it rookie, it comes with time."

The two boys named Kamijou Touma and Kamisato Kakeru were sitting at a ramen stand eating together.

Kamijou Touma was giving advice to the other boy on tips of perfecting the art of being a normal high school boy.

"Seriously though, how do you handle having a harem? Every time I get into shenanigans, it makes me want to face palm every time."

"You just gotta use the age old tactic that's been wielded by many other guys stuck in the same situation as you."

"And that would be?"

"You act dense and pretend you don't notice their feelings."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah, it really works. I use it as well."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Positive. See, if you act like you don't notice these girls feelings, then you can just brush off what they do and walk away easily from them and they can't blame you."

"I...uhh...okay?"

"Unless you have a tsundere in your harem, then usually it will backfire on you."

"Uh huh..." Kamisato looked with a questioning expression.

"Here, if you're doubtful, let's ask some of my friends for advice. Some of them have their own harems as well. Oi, Accelerator! Hamazura!"

"What do you want?"

"Need something boss?"

"Explain to Kamisato how you handle your harems."

"I just outright ignore them. My very strong personality alone usually handles these situations pretty well. Also taking into fact that most of them are clones so it's pretty easy to deal with them."

"Didn't you recently get that one blonde magician girl into your harem? I've seen you pretty flustered around her." Touma teased.

"Shut up."

"Well I don't think I can be as intimidating as a guy like you so I don't think that would work." Kamisato said.

"Alright, well we'll scratch that off the list. What about you Hamazura?"

"Well I have a girlfriend. That usually solves the harem problem almost instantly."

Suddenly, two fists connected to Hamazura's cheeks. He reeled back in pain.

He stood back up to see who were his assailants. He looked up and saw that it was Tsuchimikado and Aogami that came out of nowhere to hit him.

"You...bastard!"

"Look at you, casually bragging like that!"

The boys were shaking their fists with tears in their eyes.

"W-what? What'd I do wrong?"

"You don't know?" Touma piped in. "You get the luxury of having a girlfriend AND a harem. You're one lucky bastard, I'm almost tempted to hit you myself."

"But you were the one who asked!"

"It still doesn't hurt any less from the pain of not having a girlfriend."

"Uhh, weren't you the one that said to act dense at the girls' feelings." Kamisato chimed in.

"Hey! I was just helping to answer your question of how to deal with your harem shenanigans."

"So then why don't you choose a girl then?" Kamisato asked.

"Because it would tear the fandom apart!" Touma yelled.

"Fandom?"

"What is he talking about?"

"You gone crazy hero?"

"Boss? You okay?"

"You guys wouldn't understand." Touma sighed.

"Nevermind then, it seems your situation is more complex than mine." Kamisato commented.

"It's alright Kami-yan, I'm confident that you'll pick Kanzaki nee-chin for sure!"

"Ahh but lolis are so much better, surely you'll pick the Birdway girl right Kami-yan?"

"The clones won't stop pestering me so you better pick one of them or else."

"Uhhhh, please take Mugino from me?" Hamzura said questioningly. "I fear she's one day going to snap and kill either me or Takitsubo."

"Thanks a lot guys..."

Kamisato felt that he was beginning to understand the message that Kamijou was trying to send him by having bros around.


	2. Is Accelerator a tsundere?

**Nothing much to say, here's another fun short chapter! I guess it's a continuation of the last chapter.  
**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Toaru Majutsu no Index**

* * *

"I have another question concerning 'bros' then." Kamisato said.

"What is it?" Touma said.

"Wouldn't it essentially just be the same as a harem except they're guys?"

"What? Nooo. Pfft. They're bros, it's totally different."

"Uh huh. But are you sure it's not the same? Wouldn't you just have archetypes for your guy friends? For example, your friend Accelerator here seems like he's the tsundere of-"

"Who the hell are you calling a tsundere?" Accelerator cut in.

"Uhh you." Kamisato said.

"Say that again and I'll kill you!" Accelerator grabbed Kamisato by the front of his shirt.

"Hmm, I'm kind of inclined to agree with him." Hamazura popped in.

"I can actually see it." Tsuchimikado said.

"It would certainly fit you." Aogami said.

"What the fuck?! How the hell am I tsundere for this guy." Accelerator said while pointing to Touma.

"Dude, look at the last time you two fought." Tsuchimikado said.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"It was a perfect example of your tsundere traits."

"You guys talking about that time in Denmark?" Touma piped in.

"I don't get how that shows anything." Accelerator said.

"Let's see, you were the first one to find him and reach him."

"So what? I'm a very fast person."

"You also actually responded to the call that Academy City sent out to hunt down Kami-yan even though most of the Level 5s did nothing."

"The third-rate was there as well. I was bored and had nothing else to do anyway."

"And you purposely threw the fight to him."

"Wait, you threw the fight?" Touma said with an shocked face.

"N-no I fucking didn't!"

"How else do you explain he beat you?"

"The fucking hero is just crazy, he beat a rock into his wrist. That rock was probably as hard as his head."

"Hey!"

"Are you sure you didn't just take a dive to protect your precious friend? Wasn't it your grand plan to get to him first and lose in order to dissuade the rest of the world from going after him?"

"Why would I ever personally go out of my way to do something like that?"

"He's being tsundere again." Tsuchimikado said.

"Yup, definitely a tsundere." Aogami said.

"Why won't he just admit it?" Hamazura said.

"I'll fucking kill all of you!"

"Ah but that's not even the kicker." Tsuchimikado said. "A direct quote from you was 'I'm only gonna bother looking after the people in my cell phone's memory.'".

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, why don't we take a look at your phone?" Tsuchimikado said as he waved Accelerator's phone in his hand.

"Wha-? How did you-?" Accelerator patted his pants to find that he did not have his phone on him.

"Spy skills man! Now let's flip it open and see just exactly what's in it. Let's see...contacts and uh...oh wait, what's this? It appears that you have a contact in here named Kamijou Touma."

A smirk flashed across Tsuchimikado's face. "Now I wonder what implication we can draw from that?"

"Definitely cares about Kami-yan."

"That's some pretty good evidence."

"If all of that is true, then thanks Accelerator, you truly are a bro." Touma said as he put a hand on Accelerator's shoulder.

"Grrrr." Accelerator shook Touma's hand off his shoulder and walked forward and grabbed his phone out of Tsuchimikado's hand.

"Screw you guys, I'm going home!" Accelerator began walking away.

"He's probably going to go back and pray to the shrine of Kami-yan he has in his closet."

"Nah, he's probably going to gossip with the clones about spending time with him."

"Don't be surprised if you find yourselves dead tomorrow!" Accelerator yelled from a distance.

The boys just watched as Accelerator's figure disappeared in the distance. As soon as he was gone, they turned back around.

Touma looked over to Kamisato. He was surprised he had remained silent the whole time. "I'm sorry, what were we talking about again?" Touma said.

"I uhh, nevermind." Kamisato said as he looked over at the direction Accelerator left. "From what I saw, I think he might actually be a yandere instead."


End file.
